mother's day

Oh, Paigey... A year ago you were just a plus sign, barely five weeks in my belly. A year ago we were saying, "This time next year, our baby will be here with us." And here you are, more adorable and wonderful than we ever imagined. These past few months have been an adjustment as we are still getting used to our new life as parents (we thank you for your patience), but they've also been filled with so much love and happiness. You've brought a richness to our lives that is unlike anything we've experienced. We love you so much and are so very excited to watch you grow up. We wish for you above all else health and pure happiness in your life and we hope that we can help guide you to be a kind and compassionate person.

At three and a half months, we are already seeing that you have an independent streak and quite a sense of humor. Every day there is something new: smile, a giggle, a wiggle. We love being silly and trying to get a smile out of you. We love seeing you work so hard to push yourself up and roll over. We love hearing you babble in the early hours of the morning when we're still asleep. But, we can't help but smile because it's so darn cute.

Here are a few things that you're into lately...You are really happy when you're on the changing table and really enjoy your baths and the massage that follows. You especially like it when I sing and dance while you're on the changing table and in the bath. You like to try standing on your little feet, do bicycle legs and just last week, you started grabbing your toes. You like Skyping with all your grandparents (Uma, Kon Kon and Grandma Mickey). Your favorite toys are your crinkly picture book, ring o' links and Elmo rattle. You love it when Daddy gives you his super loud kisses. We're not sure if we just got lucky and you're just a good baby, but you only really fuss when you need something and sleep well, for a newborn. Recently, you've started to stare at our food, so I'm pretty sure you'll be ready for solid foods soon. No doubt you'll be a good eater, too. I've also been taking you to story times at the library and so far you seem to enjoy them and are very well behaved. Everyone always comments on how much hair you have, how strong and alert you are and of course, how cute you are.

Thank you, Paigey, for making me a mother. I'm super in love with you and honored that I get to take care of you. I'm so proud to be your mommy.

the birth

I was induced on the evening of January 17th, ten days after my due date. Honestly, if we hadn't done it then, I don't know when Paigey would have come. I was 1 cm dilated at 10 pm when they started the induction with a tablet. The tablet made me start getting contractions and four hours later, I was 3 cm. I progressed enough so that I didn't need another tablet. My contractions did start getting more intense and since I'm such a wimp, they gave me some pain reliever so that I could get some rest between the hours of 3 and 5 am. I still wasn't comfortable and buzzed in and out of consciousness even with the pain reliever.

At 7 am, my doctor came in to check on me and broke my water. That's when my contractions got really intense. I got a steady stream of pain reliever after that, but then my progress slowed down and they started me on pitocin. When I was 5 cm, I got my epidural and boy did that make it all better. It was scary, but it was better than feeling the contractions. I didn't have a birth plan. I just wanted Paige to be healthy. But, I did want to avoid an episiotomy or a c- section if possible. I also wanted to know how the contractions really felt to see if I needed the epidural and I did. I guess if I needed something for the mild contractions, I definitely needed something for the crazy ones.

At some point they gave me an oxygen mask. Soon after that, I started feeling the contractions again, so I pushed for more meds. Then I got the shakes really bad. Our awesome nurse was on her break and another nurse told us it was a side effect of the pitocin and not to worry. But, the shakes were almost worse than the contractions. I felt like I was going to bite my tongue with my chattering teeth. When my regular nurse came back, she confirmed that it was a side effect, but decided to take my temperature. That's when she realized I had a fever. They had to get the baby out immediately so that the fever didn't affect Paige.

Luckily I was at 10 cm so I could start pushing. After almost an hour and a half of pushing - and mind you I was numb down there so I had no idea whether it was doing anything - my doctor said that I was close, but I would need a little help in the way of an episiotomy and forceps. Now, all the literature that Bob and I read about birthing and our birthing classes warned about the potential dangers of using forceps, so naturally we were hesitant to agree to it. But, in the end, I really trusted my doctor so we consented. And just like that, extra nurses came in with all the tools and the NICU nurses came just in case the fever had gotten to Paige. There sure were a lot of people in the room looking at me and as the doc did what he had to, I saw a look of horror flood their faces. And, even with the epidural I could feel the intense pressure of the forceps and the crowning. It was very quick though. When she was finally born, it was instant relief. She was perfectly healthy, but I needed some work done on me so unfortunately, I didn't get to do the immediate skin on skin contact with her.

Because the pushing and birthing happened so fast at the end, the extra meds they gave me kicked in just a bit late and my blood pressure dropped so I had to rest and be monitored much longer than normal before they could move us into our room.

All throughout my pregnancy this moment had been my worst fear and I was relieved that it was over, proud that I had done it and thankful that I avoided a c-section and that Paige was such a healthy baby. When I was going through the induction and contractions, it seemed so long, but it really wasn't. It wasn't a long time to be experiencing pain. If I had to do it again, I could. What "they" say is true. It was all worth it.

The first week, however, is another story...

Happy Birthday, Paige!

After 18 hours of labor, Paige arrived at 4:48pm on Tuesday, January 18th weighing in at 8 pounds 11 ounces and measuring 20 inches long.